still coming to the conclusion that this is bigger then me, and that scares me. my mind is strong, but because of fate and choice my body has become weak. THIS IS NO LONGER IN MY CONTROL, i have never felt so mixed. i will not lose hope though, i cant. my mind is the only thing keeping me here, my physical body comes secondary.
by new years i want this to be over,
no job will cover this shit. i just want to go to school, or save up so i can get the fuck out and model. it seems almost impossible, this shit blows.