who ever you are, what ever you are, if its me or if its a higher power i dont care
i just thank you so much, i could go in detail on what just happened but i dont even have to……..
all im going to say is i will never do dmt. i have no need to, i can experience it naturally. im still in shock, i can barely talk…even writing witch is my passion is hard to get the words out. maybe i will just let the tears flow for a while and mediate.
i feel so god damn selfish, and thats the one thing i didnt ever want to be.
i feel so stupid for feelings like this. i feel like i should have thought everything out first, i cant regret you because i love you, i cant cuddle with you because that makes my chubby love sad, i cant make anyone happy, and thats all i want..is to please everyone i love but in the end someone and something keeps getting hurt.
all i can do is love on all of you the same, and hope that you can feel my energy…please feel my energy…
i love you marygold, you were my first. your my bestfriend. you comfort me more then most people are even capable of doing. i love you tiger lilly, your so beautiful.. you have these motherly instincts that i just freaking adore, you have the most beautiful soul i have ever seen in a cat. then theres jude, sweet little jude…..your teaching me more then you will ever know, but how i love you so so so much.
just isn’t what it used to be. Nothing fucks me up anymore, I just go into a zone out state of mind or a haze where I can’t think. Sober feels intoxicated, but it’s boring. it’s like, wheres the reason? I feel like I have it all figured out, but none of it matters. I’m just another season.
i think i started to figure out why that was with me to. but i think a lot of it has to be with the people your with. when im with my family and we trip, its not like were “fucked up” i feel like were exercising our third eyes, and to me thats the most beautiful trip.
“THEY SAY THE COMPANY WILL BE GOOD FOR US? BUT WE SAY, YOU DONT TAKE CARE OF US, WE TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES! WE LIVE OUR LIVES THE WAY WE KNOW.”—one of the men from the tribe that is getting bulldozed and planting an oil company on there village.
i cant stand our society. reading about how our government is contacting all these un contacted tribes that have been here since the beginning of time. if they wanted to contact us they would! but why would they? THERE LIVING THE LIFE THEY WANT TO LIVE. they walk around naked, they hunt for food, there loving parents, and good fighters. just recently these tribes were invaded by Americans, it spread diseases and killed hundreds of them! a simple common flue could swipe them clean! this tribe leader was talking on an interview saying “if they took these rocks we live on, we would no longer be a able to survive.” that breaks my heart. its so beautiful watching these tribes live such a free life, the natural life, and its such an awful thing to see people trying to take that away.
“Everybody has this guilt complex that they’re no good, that they’re not talented, that they’re useless, that there’s something wrong with them. It’s not true. There’s nothing wrong with any of you out there, there’s nothing wrong with you. You shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting. People will repress themselves from even allowing themselves to want…. At least allow yourselves to want.”— John Lennon
on the horizon we are 2 dimensional, almost like a painting. i do not believe a black hole sucks in shit and is nowhere to be found, to say the least. more like splatters paint on a canvas that cannot be colored. the information and energy of the countless things spread across this black paper….
gawh, words can not describe what i just got to experience. playing music out side, looking straight into pure nature. when i played, the trees swayed. as i played harder, the wind picked up, almost as if it was dancing along with me. i felt such a high energy, something i could not describe. when jonny came out to join me we played together, the wind start picking up incredibly at this point. our energy together, making the sounds of nature in true nature itself, made mother nature smile while everything we saw started moving exactly in unison. the racoons just that there watching and smiling, the trees dancing, the leaves falling, everything singing and dancing along. it was so beautiful, me and jonny just sat back almost in tears. most people dont get to experience that. not playing silly instruments outside, but really appreciating all of it…
i love making music that reminds me of nature. started playing the bells a new way i thought up today. i wear my favorite beads on my right arm, and gently stroke them on the chords. capturing the sound of a waterfall.
the filler- a person who contributes nothing to life, besides there time and money. who thinks munching on my drugs is like”so totally cool.” who when there 50 is going to look back on there youth and be like wow, i did absolutely nothing. who thinks college is the gateway to success ;) because thats why everyone who went to college, is losing there fucking jobs, and not doing anything with there major. who is a complete fucking moron.